I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
