I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
