He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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