The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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