you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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