you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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