Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
