I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize