well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
