She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
