I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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