eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
