If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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