K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize