WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
