genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have fence marks all over my body
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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