i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
