I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
