the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize