if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
