But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
