I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
