i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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