conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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