I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
