the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
