why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
