NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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