You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize