What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
