ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
