Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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