the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Boobs are out for the taking
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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