And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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