a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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