Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The air taste purple.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
