Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
