god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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