Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
