You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
