Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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