last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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