Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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