I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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