I think I am morally bankrupt
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
