there was a trapeze. enough said
zippers are such a cool invention
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
