Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
