I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
