i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
