So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
