I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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