I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
