I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize