no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
