I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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