I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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