why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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