yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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