Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
