Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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