Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
