Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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