can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
