If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I believe in your delicious
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
