Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Randomize
