oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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