Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
