Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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