More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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