i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
