ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
All the doctor said was why
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
