You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
