She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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