I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
