I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
