on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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