Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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