since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
