but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
